This is an actual 1976 letter from a Youngstown Ohio bride-to-be to her
bridesmaids and ushers. Read it, take a deep breath and count your
blessings for collaborative brides. This was excerpted from Harper's
Magazine by the Wedding Bells Engaged Couples List.
The letter is as follows:
Dear Bridal Party,
From time to time, I will be dropping everyone a line or two to keep each of you informed about how the wedding plans are progressing, so that no one thinks I have forgotten them and no one is in the dark.
Ushers: Each usher will be dressed identically to the
groom, best man and the head groomsman: black tails. Be sure you have
black silk socks and black dress shoes polished to a high shine.
Reception rehearsal: On Saturday afternoon (early) we
will
go to Powers Auditorium to practice for the reception tha night after the
wedding ceremony. Why? Well, there is a long staircase at the auditorium
that will be put to full use. Each bridal party couple will be introduced
separately and will proceed down the first half of the staircase
(accompanied by music).
Upon reaching the platform in the middle of the stairs, the girl will be
required to swirl from the right side of the steps, and move to the left
side, and her partner (an usher) will move to the right. Then they will
proceed down the second half of the stairs and take their positions for
the Bridal Dance.
Dancing: I will try to find a choreographer to help
with the Bridal Dance - but each person can please do his or her part by
learning to waltz correctly in three-quarter time. Now, when I say waltz,
I do not in any way mean two steps here and two steps there, always
standing in one spot. When we waltz it will be to Tales of the Vienna
Woods. Each usher will be twirling his partner while moving in a large
circule and maintaining even spacing between each couple. Turn on some
old-time movies and you can see how it is supposed to be done. But,
PLEASE, PLEASE practice now! Suggestion -go take dancing lessons! That's
what we have to do! Also, there will be polkas, the Charleston, jitterbug,
and others. These are not required dances. There will not be any
up-to-date [disco] dances. I personally dislike them and think they look
terrible - they simply are not dances, in my estimation.
Photographs: There will be plenty. First and foremost,
there will be 'sound motion pictures' taken throughout the wedding
ceremony, the Bridal Dance, and while each bridal party couple walks down
the steps at the reception. Flash picture will be taken in the church
ONLY until my father and I arrive at the altar --- after that, there will
be NO flash picture; the official photographer will be taking time
exposures. I believe it is the height of ill manners for any guest to
leave his or her seat and proceed to the altar to take pictures.
Dress Requirements: It is requested that you wear a little
more than usual, because of the photographs and the movie pictures. Any
ladies with short eyelashes are requested to wear either false eyelashes
or go to a beauty parlour and have false eyelashes put in one by one. The
matrons of honour wearing the silver dresses must have a lot of pink in
their makeup. That is straight from Priscilla. Be sure that each of the
four bridesmaids has green eyeshadow and that everyone wears blusher,
powder, eyebrow pencil, foundation, lipstick and the mascara - the works!
There will be two experts in the field of makeup to help anyone who needs
it or wants it. As for the men, ho, ho, you will have your turn also.
If you have a shiny face, be sure to use some of your wife's face powder
to take the shine away.
For the wives and husbands of those who are in the wedding party:
Ladies - the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses has been stated, and all
that I ask is that your dress be a colour that will not contrast with the
peppermint green, that is of full length, and fairly simple in line. Also,
please do not wear an extensive amount of jewellery, as the bridesmaids
will possibly only wear small pearl earrings. Be sure each of you has
gloves. You need wear nothing in your hair.
For the men: Amy Vanderbilt's book on etiquette says that anyone receiving
a formal invitation is to wear "black tie", which means tuxedo. Now, this
could get rather touchy, so I will put it this way: If you do not wish to
wear a tux, or do not wish to take on the expense of renting one, if will
be perfectly fine to wear a "black" suit, white shirt with French cuffs,
black silk socks, black shoes and a black and silver tie. I hope this
doesn't inconvenience too many, but I would hate to look at the colour
pictures of the head table and see some men in black tails and others in
brown or blue suits!
Children at the wedding or reception: It is my wish, and also Z's
(fiance?) that there will be no children at the wedding ceremony or at the
reception. For purposes of clarification, a chld is anyone eighteen years
or younger. There are many reasons for this request, but the best is the
simple fact that I don't have the money to invite childresn who only pick
at their food, cry, run around, etc. One friend of mind, who married
about a year ago, says that when she got [missing section].
One point of etiquette- When a formal invitation is sent out with
Mr. and Mrs. Paul J. Smith on the outside envelope and Mr. and Mrs. Smith
on the inside envelope, that is exactly what it means - only Mr and Mrs
Smith about being invited and no one else; no others in the family, no
guests who might be visiting at the time, etc. If asked about guests, you
can diplomatically pass this on. I know it sounds like I am being a real
fuss pot, but I would hate to tell each of you what the cost is per person
just for the reception alone. I'm doing this for my friends and relatives,
for all of us to have a good time, but since there are so many hours in
one day, and I already have three jobs, and I am not a Vanderbilt, some
lines must be drawn, and I hope everyone understands.
I've never wanted a small country-type wedding. Z says this is no
wedding, but rather a coronation! Well, not quite. But it sure has been
fun so far, and I just cannot wait for everyone to arrive and for all our
friends and relatives to have one great, fabulous night. Everyone think
positive and keep your fingers crossed. Pray - that will bring more help.
Won't each of your come with Z and me to fantasy-land - a place where
dreams come true and fun abounds for everyone? Where the bride is
Cinderella and the groom is Cinderfella for an evening. You are going to
attend a ball at "Buckingham Palace" (pretend) and the King and Queen have
invited only royalty - YOU! This will be a time to remember when you were
courting the person to whom you are now married - a time to take a second
honeymoon. We want everyone to be as happy as we are and to rekindle
their own marriages. If you have a happy marriage now (which I know you
all do), we expect the Palace to be really electrified with all that LOVE.
May your every dream come true!
Love, X
Bridesmaids:
Each bridesmaid will receive her dress via
mail from Priscilla of Boston sometime in January. This will give each of
you enough time to have the dress professionally altered if need be. The
dresses are chiffon Priscilla dresses and can be worn after the wedding.
The right shoulder is bare and there is no sleeve on the left arm. EAch
has its own cape, which goes almost to the floor. The two matrons of
honour will be in silver and the four bridesmaids in peppermint green. As
of this date, I have not decided whether the two in silver will wear green
gloves and the four in green, silver gloves, but long gloves will be worn.
I strongly suggest that each person shops now for the typical cloth
closed-toe shoe. Keep the heel size reasonable of course, no platforms of
any kind. Anyone having trouble with their legs should wear support hose.
Return to the weddingpage
To Laurie-Ann's Home Page