Exterior view of USS Stargazer shooting by at warp speed. A moment after the ship disappears out the righthand side of the screen a Soyuz-class starship looms up and shoots past. Bridge of the Bozeman. Captain Bateson sits lockjawed in his command chair, glaring forward, left hand gripping belt buckle, right fist on armrest. The bridge crew are bent at their stations, focused on their work. Over in one corner Captain Picard and Commander Riker confer quietly. Riker comes forward and suggests: "Can't you make this thing go any faster?" Bateson reddens and grinds his fist into the armrest. Riker: "Just asking." He returns and raises his eyebrows toward Picard. Picard: "You know, Captain, the Stargazer has a variety of design weaknesses we might endeavour to exploit. She's quite old. I dare say she's the oldest serving vessel in Starfleet, if you exclude . . . um . . ." Bateson: "Helm! Give me another half warp factor!" "But Captain, she'll come apart!" "When it comes time to take her apart, I'll let you know!" "Aye, aye, sir." Riker and Picard exchange glances. Cut to the bridge of the Stargazer. Chatokay: "Engineering! Can't you give me more speed than this?" Engineering. Torres leans over a console, entering commands, swearing, and entering more. She punches the console, charges across the room and attacks another display, shouting as she goes: "I don't know whose bright idea it was to strap four warp engines to this jalopy, but I can see why there aren't any other vessels in this class. There's another engine off-line every half-minute!" *We're going to need all four if we're going to get out of this.* "I'm working on it!" Jonas: "Engine Three is off-line!" "Grr! Let me see that! Reinitialize your matter reactant injector." "Reinitializing. That's it! On-line!" Seska: "Engine Two is off-line!" "Dammit! Your field flow is pinwheeling! Throttle back ten percent!" "I've got it. Okay. Back on-line." Suder: "There goes Number Four!" "Argh!! It's your off-axis field controller!" Seska: "Look. Why don't we get one of the prisoners to help? If he won't co-operate, we'll shoot him." View of three gagged and hogtied Starfleet Engineers glaring up from the floor. Suder: "We should just shoot them anyway." Torres: "Look, just concentrate on your engine and try to think like a team." DRG: "Number One! Number One!" Torres: "Number One's off-line now?!" DRG: "No. I was just saying we're Number One." Torres: "Gah!" Exterior view of the two vessels shooting past. "Crawlspace. The final frontier. These are the voyages of The Door Repair Guy. His mission: to install and maintain proximity-activated entranceways, to stake out new rooms and new service conduits -- to boldly go where no one with a pass key has gone before." A pair of Maquis raiders shoot by hotly pursued by a Miranda-class Federation starship. Star Trek: Door Repair Guy Starring Door Repair Guy as Himself The two Maquis shoot past in the other direction now with a Cardassian Galor-class warship on their tail. Also Starring Martha Hackett as Seska Robert Beltran as Chakotay Tim Russ as Tuvok Roxann Biggs-Dawson as Torres The Federation and Cardassian ships nearly pile up chasing Maquis ships into the middle of the screen. The Maquis loop around and shoot off, one of them coming right past the camera and leaving behind a glimmering ion trail which fades to: [Commercial: Unitel: Three guys at a table. "So, did you call Hong Kong?" "I . . . could call Hong Honk." "Did you talk to her? Did you call Laura, there, Cheesy? You did, didn't you! You called Laura in Hong Kong!" "Laugh. Laugh as I know you will at the downhearted." "He he! You called Laura in Hong Kong." "Nice talkin' to ya."] Stargazer shoots past, followed by the Bozeman. Cut to bridge of the Stargazer. We see Tuvok examining a tactical display. Tuvok: "As anticipated, Starfleet is diverting more vessels to the pursuit. They are converging from all directions. We are within a rapidly decreasing sphere of negotiable space." Chatokay: "How long until the noose closes?" "Two hours, seven minutes at these velocities. I do not wish to say I told you so, but I told you so." "Not so fast. There must be places we can hide out." "These sectors are quite thoroughly charted." "How about Sector 001?" "Do you propose to hide the Stargazer beneath the Golden Gate Bridge?" "No, but close. Are you capable of performing the calculations for time-warp?" "I am a security expert, not a mathematician." "But you are a Vulcan." "That is correct." "Begin your calculations. We'll head for Sector 001 and use the Earth's sun for a catapult." "It is a highly risky proposal. I cannot guarantee pinpoint accuracy." "I don't care what time we go to. All I want is a shortcut through a period when we're not being chased. We'll double back to the Badlands where we'll use another star to catapult us to our own time. No one will see us and the timeline won't be affected." "Still, the success of such a maneuvre is contingent upon the predictable operation of all four warp engines." "I have every confidence in B'Elanna Torres." "That would be the woman who withdraw from Starfleet Academy just prior to her intermediate level propulsion mid-term examination?" "Hm. She told me she passed that." [ MEMO: From: Executive Producer To: Other Other Executive Producer Re: Time-Warp Gul Taylor: I thought we just did time travel two episodes ago. Isn't this a bit soon? What happened to that Utopian society Braga was working on?] [ MEMO: From: Other Other Executive Producer To: Executive Producer Re: Re: Time-Warp Gul Berman: The Utopian society is in rewrite. The first draft was very very weird. You think you know a co-worker until you see what kind of ideal world he'd like to live in. Brr. I won't go into details. Suffice it to say Utopia is off till next season.] [ MEMO: From: Executive Producer To: Other Other Executive Producer Re: Re: Re: Time-Warp Gul Taylor: If there is a next season.] Bozeman. "Captain. The Stargazer is changing course. She's taking a new heading for Sector 001." Bateson: "Change heading." Riker: "It's a suicide run." Picard: "Or so they might want us to believe, Number One. This entire escapade smacks of a diversionary tactic to me. Perhaps it would be prudent to place the Cardassian border on alert." "You're confident this is a Maquis venture? What about the Romulans?" "It doesn't smell like Klingon activity to me. But perhaps you're right. A general alert may be in order." "I see what you mean." Bateson: "Communications. Please notify Starfleet that a highjacked vessel under control of the Andromeda Galaxy is heading in their direction." "Very good, sir." "No, don't do that, you numbskull! Can't you recognize sarcasm when you hear it?" "Sorry, sir." Riker and Picard exchange looks again. Picard: "Perhaps we'd better get off the bridge and allow Captain Bateson's fine crew to do its work." Riker: "Agreed. Why don't we pay a visit to their forward lounge? I'm sure it's a storehouse of 23nd century memorabilia." Picard: "Excellent idea, Number One." Bateson (pressing a button on his armrest): "Send up a yeoman to show our guests to our . . . cafeteria." Riker: "Or cafeteria." Picard: "Or the cafeteria would be fine." They bump and collide in embarrassment toward the turbolift. [Commercial: Worf, O'Brien and Bashir. "So, did you call Risa?" "I . . . could call Risa." "But did you talk to her? Did you call Troi, there, Worfy? You did, didn't you! You called Troi on Risa!" "Laugh. Laugh as I know you will at the downhearted." "He he! You called Troi on Risa." Worf turns around and sulks like Achilles in his tent.] View of the Stargazer veering and barrel-rolling past the camera. In the distance we can make out two vessels moving on an oblique course, as if herding the renegade ship. Tuvok: "Still closing." Chatokay: "We need a diversion. I'm bringing her in close to that ringed giant." Tuvok: "Eleven vessels have entered the system. We are twenty-five seconds from being within weapons-lock range of five or more of them." "Prepare a photon torpedo spread astern." "Photon torpedoes ready." "On my mark." Viewscreen shot of the approaching grey-blue gaseous giant. The planet's ring system stands out in full glory, filling more and more of the screen, a glimmering oncoming curtain arched through with concentric gaps. "Fire photon spread." "Photons away." View of the Stargazer flying straight at the surface of the rings. A bevy of twinkling red photon torpedoes erupt from her stern, head straight at us, and detonate like flashbulbs, whiting out the screen. View of the Stargazer as she shoots through one of the ring gaps, changes course and bursts to warp, just as the photon blast ripples through the plane of the rings. Tuvok: "Your use of the planetary ring system and photon detonations has created the desired camoflage effect. The pursuing armada are either proceeding along our last known heading or coming to a full stop. Only one vessel stands between us and a clear run toward Earth. The Bozeman. She is firing." Cut to the bridge of the Bozeman. Communications Officer: "Alerting the fleet commander of the Stargazer's new heading, Captain." Bateson: "Belay that, Lieutenant!" "Captain!" "It's not every day Fate lays such a glorious opportunity in your lap! Eyes on the prize, Lieutenant! Think of the commendation! Think of the ticker-tape parade! We'll bring this baby in alone! Ha ha! Fire all phasers!" Cut to the Bozeman's cafeteria. Riker: "We're firing." Picard: "Here's a viewscreen." He switches it on and peers at the grey image without comprehension. Riker: "Perhaps more contrast." Picard adjusts a knob. The grey resolves into the whitish shape of the Stargazer against the black of space. "Ah! The Stargazer! Her shields are holding. I hope it's not necessary to damage her too severely." "If those people have any sense they'll surrender now." Picard examines the Stargazer's image. "I wonder . . ." "Captain?" "How extensively do you suppose this crew has been retrained since the Bozeman's appearance from the temporaral loop?" "I don't follow." "What I mean is, are they aware of the advances in tactical manoeuvre of the present century?" As if to answer, a second Stargazer suddenly appears on screen at point-blank range, laying down a pattern of phaser fire. View of the bridge rocking furiously, sparks showering down. Bateson: "There's two of them! It's a trap!" Cut to the cafeteria where two stuntmen representing Picard and Riker are thrown to the floor as the Coke machine explodes. Tables and chairs careen past the camera. Exterior view as the port nacelle explodes in a clip lifted from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Chatokay: "I can't believe they fell for that. Set course for Earth. Maximum warp." Shot of Picard and Riker crawling out from beneath an avalanche of metal cafeteria trays. Riker: "I can't believe he fell for that." Picard (coming to the viewscreen): "They got away." There's just a little note of pride in his voice. View of the disabled Bozeman. Cut to the bridge. Fire control teams work from console to burning console. Static fills every computer screen. Sparks tumble from broken power mains. In the centre of the shot the Bozeman's first officer is demonstrating the Picard Manoeuvre with his hands while Captain Bateson watches and strokes his beard sullenly. Exterior view of several starships moving in to assist. [Commercial: Quark and Rom. "With this new calling plan I can call anywhere I like and save twenty-five percent. It's like latimum in my pocket." "So, did you call Ferenginar?" "I . . . could call Ferenginar." "But did you call her?" "Call her? I don't know what you mean." "Oooh, you know, Brother! Did you talk to Moogie? I know you did. I can tell. You did, didn't you? You called Moogie to wish her a happy Mother's Day!" "If you must know I was advising Cousin Gaila on a big arms deal." "I don't believe you! I can always tell when you're telling a lie! You called Moogie!" Odo paces by, supervising. "All right. I admit it. I called Mother. Are you happy?" "You called Moogie!" "Nice talking to you." Quark leaves. Shot of Rom's triumphant snaggly grin.] *Chakotay to crew. Prepare for time-warp.* Torres: "Time-warp? In this wagon? Torres to Chakotay!" *What is it, Torres?* "I can't guarantee you warp speed through this manoeuvre." *It would be better if you did. I don't want to wind up packing into the sunny side of Mercury. Chatokay out.* "Dammit!" "Engine Four's off-line again." "Dammit!" Torres crosses the floor and tears a strip of duct tape off the Chief Engineer's mouth. Chief Engineer: "Ouch!" "You heard what's going on. If we don't keep these four engines in synch we're fried." "I can't help you in your evil plan. However, if someone were to help you he would probably suggest you install our new Concerto 3.2 software for synchonized engines." Jonas picks up a diskette. "Here it is." "Run it!" Shot of the Stargazer streaking past Jupiter. Tuvok: "Martian defense perimeter approaching." Chatokay: "Concentrate on those calculations. I'll worry about interceptors." "Engineering has still not supplied adequate warp power." The computer plays a bar of string quartet. Majel Barrett Roddenberry: *Warp engines are now synchronized.* Eyes-only shot of Chatokay passing the order to Tuvok. Exterior view. Two starships loom up into the shot, the crescent Mars behind them, and beyond that the Sun. Shot of Stargazer snapping into warp, the burst occurring on the rim of the Sun. Momentary glimpse of the Stargazer's light-filled viewscreen. White-out. Fade to black. [Commercial: Worf and two other Klingons. "vaj, raySa DarI'pu''a'?" "'raySa vIrI'laH." "'ach Sujatlh'a'? Troi DarI'pu''a', naDev, Worf? bIjatlhpu'! raySaDaq Troi DaDajpu'!" "yIHagh. 'It vay. ghotvetlhDaq yIHagh." "He he! raySaDaq Troi DaDajpu'." "rIn jabbI'ID."] Chatokay's eyes open with a start. He looks around. Tuvok is already at his console and working. "Did we make it? Where are we?" Chatokay follows Tuvok's gaze toward the viewscreen. Orbital view of the Earth. Chatokay: "Have we been scanned?" Tuvok: "Negative. The people of this era do not possess that capability. I have been monitoring communication channels. The only communications traffic in this sector is in the form of air- and ground-based radio signals. I have run these through the historical library. We are in the latter half of old Earth calendar year 1942." "1942? The middle of the Second World War, isn't it? Are we secure from ground-based missiles?" "They are currently in development but pose no threat." "Good. Well, we'd better be on our way." "There is one disturbing factor." "What? Is it the engines again?" "They would appear to intact. I am referring to certain anomalous readings." "Anomalous readings?" "Sensors are picking up unexpected levels of chroniton particle emmision at several locations on the surface." "Time travelers are here? But surely this is one of the most delicate turning points in Earth history. One little change and a whole new timeline could result." "I concur. Unhappily, all of the chroniton emissions are emanating from the centres of the conflict, the cities of England and Germany in particular." "What's going on there?" "I have insufficient data on which to formulate a hypothesis." "Are there any other ships in this sector?" "None that we can detect." "So Starfleet hasn't followed us through time." "Or, if they have, they have missed us." "Who could it be?" "I do not know. Chatokay: "It looks like there's only one way to find out." "Let me warn you that any expedition to the surface would only increase the possibility of temporal disruption." "You had reason to be concerned when we raided Vulcan. Now it's my turn to worry. What if somebody from the future is out to kill Winston Churchill? Or Werner von Braun?" "I can see you will not be dissuaded. Therefore I must assist you to the best of my ability. I shall conduct a close analysis of these sensor readings in an effort to identify the optimal beam-down site." "Please proceed. Meanwhile I'll get my team together." No sooner is Chakotay out the turbolift but Seska is at his elbow. "I hear you're planning an away team." "News travels fast." She seizes his hand and presses her cheek against his shoulder. "Don't you think now would be a good time to make good on your promise?" "Promise?" "You were going to take me to see the Grand Canyon." "Can it wait?" "There's no time like the present." "This is the past." "Take me on the away team." "This is a pre-contact culture. I need humans." "You need officers who can keep their heads. Are you saying you'd rather take Suder than me?" "Suder? No. He'd probably slip away and commit some random murder just to see how much things have changed when we get back to the 24th century." "Well then?" "I get your point. Report to the wardroom in ten minutes." He marches off. She lingers a moment, eyes glistening as visions of sabotage dance through her head. She takes a deep exultant breath and dashes off in the other direction. [Commercial: Riker, Data and Geordi. "I am curious, Commander. Did you use your new calling plan to call Risa?" What-me? poker face. "I think what Data's getting at is, did you call Deanna?" Cat-that-ate-the-canary poker face. "I believe he did, Geordi." "It's hard to tell with that old poker face." "If you'll excuse me, gentlemen." "I am certain he called Troi." "Oh yeah, he called."] The Stargazer's wardroom. Tuvok is standing before a wall- mounted computer display screen and consulting a handheld computer pad. Chatokay enters, wearing the uniform of a captain in the United States Army Air Force. Chatokay: "Looks like I can add impersonation of a superior officer to my list of crimes." "I suspect that Starfleet would be indulgent in this case." "That depends on the success of our mission. I wonder what's keeping the others." Enter Jonas in a sailor suit. Self-consciously: "It's only me from over the sea, Barnacle Bill the Sailor." Chatokay: "Don't worry, Jonas. Britain is a seafaring nation. You'll melt right in." "Not if I open my mouth. I'm from Long Island. I couldn't do a Cockney if my life depended on it." "I've thought of that. Here. Tie this around your hat." Chatokay hands him a blue ribbon bearing the motto HMCS STITTSVILLE. "Now you're Canadian. You can talk any way you like." "Beauty." "Where's Seska?" Is if to answer, the lights go down momentarily, then come up again. "Chatokay to bridge. What's going on there?" *Momentarily drop in power. We're looking into it.* "Let me know when you find out." *Will do.* Seska enters, dressed in a tweed skirt and jacket, sensible shoes and cloche hat. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. I do hope I've not kept you waiting long." Her public school accent is impeccable. Tuvok: "Commander, is it advisable to include an off-worlder in the away team?" "Ms Seska has my every confidence. And, as you may have noticed, she has a talent for impersonation. As for her nose, I'm relying on British reticence to prevent any problems. Please begin the briefing." Tuvok activates the computer display, bringing up a map of northern Europe. Coastlines and major cites are indicated in amber, particle emissions in lavender (Michael Okuda's favorite colours). "I have cross-referenced sensor logs with Stargazer's historical database and discovered a correlation between maximum chroniton concentration and airborne activity. Is you may be aware, much of the military action of the Second World War took the form of the bombing of urban centres by formations of heavy airplanes. Our time travelers would seem to be paying their visits just prior to oncoming waves of bomber aircraft." "To obscure their tracks." "Perhaps." "Have you been able to determine the identity or the jumping-off point of these time travelers?" "Negative. The best that can be said is that they do not have a vessel of 24th-century cloaking capability in the sector at this moment." "They must be coming in from another time." "Agreed." "Then the best we can do is to be there when they show up." "There is one more factor. Being time travelers, they should know that we are looking for them." "Hence our disguises. The ship may become a target, though. I want you to keep it at full alert during this away mission. If they attack it'll be with the element of surprise." To the away team: "Let's get in and out again as fast as we can." Tuvok: "Judging by the rate of chroniton decay there will be a temporal intrusion in London in nine minutes and forty-five seconds." "That's our cue. Let's go." They hurry for the transporter room. [Commercial: Very young Captain Kirk, Gary Mitchell, Spock. Spock: "According to diagnostic tests our new subspace transceiver is exceeding operating specifications by five percent." Kirk: "Very good. Keep me apprised." Mitchell: "Keep you apprised? What a load of BS. You were on the radio all last night." Kirk: "Just looking for kinks." Mitchell: "Right. Did you call Alpha Centauri?" "I . . . could . . . call . . . Alpha Centauri." "Did you call her? Did you talk to Carol, there, Jimmy? You did, didn't you! You called Carol Marcus on Alpha Centauri!" "Laugh. Laugh as I know you will at the downhearted." "Nice talking to you!" Mitchell leaves. Kirk: "If he wasn't my best friend . . ." Spock (sensing his moment): "I would never laugh at you, Captain."] Transporter room. Chatokay, Jonas and Seska dash in. Torres is at the transporter console. Tuvok (from the bridge): *Transferring co-ordinates of impending temporal intrusion.* Torres: "Received." Seska: "Take good care of my transporters." Torres: "I'll do my best." Chatokay: "Energize." The away team dematerialize. Torres: "Transport complete." The transporter pad blows up. Torres: "Qu'vatlh! Torres to bridge! Transporters are out!" *Is the away team on the surface?* She works at the console, works some more, tries again, then punches it. "I can't tell!" Cut to bridge. The helmsman turns to Tuvok. "Warp engines are off-line!" "Tuvok to engine room. Report." Engine room. DRG turns in his chair. He's the only one around. "Ah. This is the engine room." *We are receiving reports of warp drive failure.* "Oh. Hang on a minute." He jumps up, looks around, scratches the back of his head, and approaches a console at random. "Computer. Report status of warp engines." Majel Barrett Roddenberry: *Warp engines are off-line.* "Yeah? All four? How come." MBR: *Self-diagnostic analysis indicate failure of Concerto 3.2 programme for syncronized engines.* "Why's that?" *Software failure is due to infection by introduced computer virus.* "Sabotage?" *What do you think?* "Hey!" Bridge. Tuvok: "Tuvok to away team." Bleek. "Tuvok to Chatokay. Please respond." Bleek. "Hm." London. Three figures materialize in a laneway off a main road. Seska removes a tricorder from her gas mask bag and surveys the vicinity. Overhead can be heard the drone of aircraft engines. An air raid warden dashes past along the road and comes to a sudden halt. Warden: "You lot! Have you lost the use of your bloody senses? Jerry's coming right up the highstreet!" A double concussion shakes the ground, followed by another, and another. Antiaircraft fire punctuates the rising, falling wail of sirens. Chatokay: "We're on our way." Seska points to a building a block away down the street. The sign above the door reads: Wm. Collins and Sons. Chatokay: "We'll go in there." Warden: "That's not a shelter! This way!" Chatokay: "We'll be fine in there!" They start to run that way. Warden: "Bloody Yank!" He dashes after them and tackles Jonas by the ankle, bringing him to the pavement. Jonas: "OW! Get offa me, you damned limey!" Warden: "Bloody Canadian!" Seska: "Shoot him." Chatokay grabs her hand as she brings a phaser out of her gas mask bag. Seska: "He's nobody!" Chatokay: "We don't know that!" A bomb lands one block to the east, shattering the glass in every window around them. They stagger to the pavement, covering their heads. A second bomb plummets through the roof of Wm. Collins and Sons, detonates and blows the facade out into the street. A wave of smoke and dust billows outward, covering them. A fire engine careens around the corner and screeches to a halt at the edge of the debris. Chatokay pulls Jonas to his feet. He takes out a tricorder and scans the bomb site for chronitons. Close up of a bar graph edging downward toward zero. Chatokay: "Missed it!" Fire fighters dash past them trailing fire hoses. Jonas: "Where's Seska?" They turn around and around, then begin to search the street, then to assist the fire fighters as they delve into the debris, but by that time Seska is blocks away. Next time on Star Trek: Door Repair Guy: "I've come about your daughter Margaret." ------------ Written by Douglas A. McLeod, ai919@freenet.carleton.ca ------------